Awake, Aware, Alive

SYTE founder and CEO, Erin Koss, is leading a discussion group for women in business from late January to early April 2019. For specific details, and to sign up, please visit our Events page, here. In this post, Erin shares her story in her own words in order to provide some context for the discussion group.

I woke up 2 years ago.  

Unfortunately, it took a traumatic event to do so.  Though, after a while, I realized it was the accumulation of unprocessed trauma over a lifetime that led to my being asleep to my own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  And, bummer of all bummers, when you’re asleep, you don’t even know it until you wake up.

I had to learn to create space for myself so that I could get through some really hard stuff.  I’m an achiever, a mom, wife, daughter, sister, business owner, and employer.   I did not allow open space in my life and, frankly, didn’t even know what it meant to take space.  But I knew I had to give it a try, however, because continuing to do otherwise wasn’t working anymore.   I was armored-up, shut down, angry, frustrated, and resentful, and I couldn’t recall the last time I experienced joy. This wasn’t who I wanted to be or how I wanted to live in the world.  The way I was showing up in the world was holding me back from so many things: meaningful relationships, meaningful work, and, ultimately, the ability to realize my true potential and share my gifts.

Over time, creating space in my life made me more AWARE.  And, once I became more aware, I could see more, understand more, and feel more. I became more ALIVE.  This allowed me to be more engaged, more connected, and to show up and be seen.  Yep, vulnerable. And, that was just the beginning.  

My metaphor for this experience is the feeling of rebuilding a bike while you’re riding it.  It’s uncomfortable, it hurts when you fall off, you have to get back on if you’re going to get where you’re trying to go, and you hope it stays together long enough to get you there.  

Despite having many more upgrades to make to my bike, I’ve realized some things during the process:

• The path to becoming our best requires waking up and becoming self-aware.
• Coming alive and stepping into the fullest expression of our awesome self requires self-love and self-acceptance.  We have to believe we matter, are enough, and are worthy of love and acceptance in order to become our highest self.  
• The journey is more easily traveled with others who are also awake.  These people are lifelines during the process, and, eventually, you’ll get to pay it forward and be there for someone else.  
• Tribe matters.  The path of awakening can be isolating.  Like attracts like, and the people at home, at play, and at work may not know how to engage with the “new you”.  And, they may not resonate the same way for you going forward.  Expect some difficult conversations and difficult choices.
• Everyone’s journey is unique.  There are a fair number of things we have in common that impact the process, including family-of-origin, trauma, and significant relationships.
• When I show up differently, it empowers others to do the same and allows us to engage and connect in a whole new way. This is where transformational change is possible, creating a ripple effect at home, work, and in this big world we share.

I hope you can join us for Awake, Aware, Alive.  Feel free to invite a friend you think might appreciate our time together.

Sincerely Yours,

For more on the importance of creating space, check out this blog post and link to an interview that Erin did with Michael Knouse on his podcast, The Startup Sessions.